Monday, March 12, 2012

Monday Night Mordheim: Grocery Store Terrain- Recipe and Example

Time to put away the things of somewhat controversy. A good thought provoking blog post is always great to see what else people have to say on a matter. Perhaps I'll return to it some day, but not today. Today is about food and terrain. There is nothing I like more then good terrain, except for food. I mean, the way I talk about food so much on this blog that it is practically a fan of Food Network. A good game, good eats, and pleasant people to have both with. Now, I admit that food and gaming don't necessarily go together at the same time. However, a bit of forward thinking and some materials, they merge into each other.Now, one of my favorite things to do is have a good dinner before a night of gaming. It makes me happy, and some of my opponent's sleepy (that's the metagame there, sleepy opponents make easier opponents). One thing that I really didn't mention before is that one of the easiest things in the world to make is Meatloaf. And almost everything that was on the previous shopping trip goes into meatloaf, and it makes for some quick terrain.

The Meatloaf Recipe of Doom

Ths recipe has been handed down bloody hand to bloody hand (literally- you'll see). It is easy, tasty, and even gives you some time to whip up some mashed potatoes if you are the type that likes homemade mashed potatoes (of which I am!). Now all my measurements are US standards, those of you in the rest of the forward thinking metric world, do some conversion. First off the ingredients:

2 Pounds of Ground Meat. Now, if you notice, I didn't have this in the previous grocery shopping trip. That's because I wanted to get one of these cool meat containers. The local place doesn't use them, but the big national chains do (Aldi's and Wal-Mart notably). This is a key piece for the terrain.

Two Eggs. If your dumb ass uses a whole dozen, well, I hope you enjoy your omelet.

One Cup of Bread Crumbs. I like Italian style, that's me being fancy. Your mileage may differ.

1/2 Half Cup of ketchup. Using only Heinz 57 is a must. All other ketchup is not ketchup, it is tomato paste.

One Box of Onion Soup Mix. Yes, the whole box. Or two cheap packets, whatever.


Step 1-

Throw all the stuff in a bowl.

Step 2-
Hand Mix it. I really mean HAND mix it. Get your hands in there. Get your hands bloody with the meat juice (there's the bloody hand reference!). Mix it until it is of an even constancy. I do not have a picture of this, because, frankly this is a messy step and I did not want to touch my camera.

Step 3-

Place into a shallow pan. Now, if you notice, I didn't make it into the traditional 'loaf' shape. That's because I like to cut the left overs into sandwich slices. This way gives me the exact right depth.

Step 4-
Cook at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for about 45 minutes to an hour. This can vary depending on your stove. It will pull away from the sides of the pan a bit. Which makes it easier to cut. This is important, if you are unsure of how done your meatloaf is, cut it in half. If its pink in the middle, it needs about another ten minutes or so.

Step 5-
Allow to cool for a few minutes and then cut and eat. For a great treat for gaming, you can let it cool over night in the fridge, then cut into sandwich size slices and throw it on some good buns with some provolone.

Ok, recipe over. Here's the AWESOME part. This stuff that you are getting with your dinner is also great for terrain.

Gather this stuff:

First, put the extra bread crumbs into a sealing bag to save for later.

Then you cut the raised lip off of the cool meat container. This is a bit of a pain in the ass. But it is necessary.

Then cut a wedge out of the breadcrumb container. This will often allow you to take the wrapper off easier as well.

Check your fit. Now, since I am just doing this on the fly, I'm just doing it quick and dirty. If you actually take time and measure, undoubtedly you can make this look MUCH better.

Then cut up your onion soup box into strips. This way you can use it for accents.

Now glue everything together. Again, cause I was going quick and dirty, I used hot glue, which is awesome for quickness and sturdiness. Not so much for neatness.

Spray paint and you are done. Grand total time I spent doing this quick and dirty was about 45 minutes (the time the meatloaf was cooking). Spraying took enough time for the meatloaf to cool down and get served. I used textured paint, cause it was new and I wanted to try it. Now, I don't think I'll use it again without pre-priming it with a good grey basecoat first again.

Now, you probably don't want to do it that way. Take your time. Do it right and it's a terrain piece that will last for awhile. Now if you notice, everything was shot on one towel, which made it very easy to clear off the dining room table for dinner. My wife was not enthused over the new centerpiece, which still reaked of spray paint. The kids on the other hand thought it was one of the coolest things I've done. It does everything it needs to do. It blocks line of sight, it gives a vantage point, and it looks vaguely gothic. Do it in gunmetal and it would fit in for 40K.

1 comment:

  1. I see the future and it's eating and gaming well. A proof of concept smartly done - more than enough encouragement to do some home cooking and bespoke terrain building.